You may think that writing a blog is piss easy. You just whack out around 500/600 hundred words a week and you’re done. But it’s not as easy as it looks. There’s a whole host of things that happen when sit down to write. Blood, sweat and tears go into every single word I write, each word is painstakingly agonized over. Each sentence scrutinised. Every paragraph goes under a microscope. Ok that’s not being entirely accurate, but you get the gist. I try my best.
Here’s an average blog writing day. More or less.
- A nice crisp, clean piece of paper to brainstorm ideas. At this point the possibilities are endless. Pen poised to write
- Wait. Pen centimetres from paper. Any second now inspiration will hit.
- Maybe some music will help.
- That’s more like it. Rhythm going. Hear pumping. Nodding your head to the music. Start writing.
- Realise after half an hour of writing that coming up with a snazzy new signature is not an accomplishment.
- Check Facebook. Oh how interesting. A photo of a plate of food my friend ate blast night.
- Respond to friend on Facebook with equally interesting picture of the cereal box that contains my breakfast.
- Check Twitter. Sage advice: (Real quote I’m not kidding) “During your next hospital stay, don’t let a urinary catheter lead to a dangerous infection”
- Refresh Facebook.
- Refresh Twitter.
- Refresh Facebook.
- Refresh Twitter.
- Contemplate writing about what not to write on Facebook
- Realise I already have done that. Damn.
- Feel the ominous weight of procrastination settle upon my shoulders.
- Wonder if travelling faster than the speed of light would ever be possible
- Decide to Google it. Read a very interesting article. Answer: Maybe. Maybe not.
- Slap yourself. Come on. Get it together there’s post to write.
- Head to the fridge. You need sustenance to write.
- Decide you are a culinary expert and mere sandwich won’t do.
- Find a recipe book and head to Tesco for the ingredients.
- Kitchen resembles bomb site but Thai curry a resounding success.
- Text friends to inform them that I am the new Masterchef. Polite silence on the reply front.
- Contemplate buying a proper chef’s hat.
- Clean kitchen.
- Head back to the office with a purposeful stride. Impress myself with my walk and go past the mirror several times. Decide I will walk like this everywhere.
- At the desk. Spot a black marker. Wonder what I would look like with designer stubble,
- And black rimmed glasses.
- Draw both on with black marker.
- Grin at yourself as a weirdo looks back at you in the mirror.
- The doorbell goes
- Act nonchalant as the postman asks you to take a parcel for the neighbour. You can tell he’s having second thoughts about asking me
- Decide a shower is in order.
- Refreshed a raring to go decide a change of scenery would get my writing juices flowing.
- Get dressed in trendy going out gear.
- Pack up lap top and use my new power walk to go to the nearest café… ok it’s a pub.
- Feel exhausted and reward myself with a beer.
- Feel relaxed and ready to write.
- Decide I like this pub and log into to beerintheevenng.com to write a review.
- Read everyone else’s reviews on the pub
- Check Facebook.. ooh new photos to look at.
- Check Twitter. More “inspiring” quotes. And some new followers. Nice! Follow me here
- Happily loo around the pub for inspiration.
- Realise I’m about the only person there enjoying a beer on a Thursday afternoon.
- Smile.
- An idea for a post forms in my mind.
- At last, I start to write.
