You may think that writing a blog is piss easy. You just whack out around 500/600 hundred words a week and you’re done.   But it’s not as easy as it looks.  There’s a whole host of things that happen when sit down to write. Blood, sweat and tears go into every single word I write, each word is painstakingly agonized over. Each sentence scrutinised.  Every paragraph goes under a microscope. Ok that’s not being entirely accurate, but you get the gist. I try my best.

Here’s an average blog writing day. More or less.

1. A nice crisp, clean piece of paper to brainstorm ideas. At this point the possibilities are endless. Pen poised to write
2. Wait. Pen centimetres from paper. Any second now inspiration will hit.
3. Maybe some music will help.
4. That’s more like it. Rhythm going. Hear pumping. Nodding your head to the music. Start writing.
5. Realise after half an hour of writing that coming up with a snazzy new signature is not an accomplishment.
6. Check Facebook.  Oh how interesting. A photo of a plate of food my friend ate blast night.
7. Respond to friend on Facebook with equally interesting picture of the cereal box that contains my breakfast.
8. Check Twitter. Sage advice:  (Real quote I’m not kidding) “During your next hospital stay, don’t let a urinary catheter lead to a dangerous infection”
9. Refresh Facebook.
10. Refresh Twitter.
11. Refresh Facebook.
12. Refresh Twitter.
13. Contemplate writing about what not to write on Facebook
14. Realise I already have done that. Damn.
15. Feel the ominous weight of procrastination settle upon my shoulders.
16. Wonder if travelling faster than the speed of light would ever be possible
17. Decide to Google it. Read a very interesting article. Answer: Maybe. Maybe not.
18. Slap yourself. Come on. Get it together there’s post to write.
19. Head to the fridge. You need sustenance to write.
20. Decide you are a culinary expert and mere sandwich won’t do.
21. Find a recipe book and head to Tesco for the ingredients.
22. Kitchen resembles bomb site but Thai curry a resounding success.
23. Text friends to inform them that I am the new Masterchef. Polite silence on the reply front.
24. Contemplate buying a proper chef’s hat.
25. Clean kitchen.
26. Head back to the office with a purposeful stride. Impress myself with my walk and go past the mirror several times. Decide I will walk like this everywhere.
27. At the desk.  Spot a black marker. Wonder what I would look like with designer stubble,
28. And black rimmed glasses.
29. Draw both on with black marker.
30. Grin at yourself as a weirdo looks back at you in the mirror.
31. The doorbell goes
32. Act nonchalant as the postman asks you to take a parcel for the neighbour. You can tell he’s having second thoughts about asking me
33. Decide a shower is in order.
34. Refreshed a raring to go decide a change of scenery would get my writing juices flowing.
35. Get dressed in trendy going out gear.
36. Pack up lap top and use my new power walk to go to the nearest café… ok it’s a pub.
37. Feel exhausted and reward myself with a beer.
38. Feel relaxed and ready to write.
39. Decide I like this pub and log into to beerintheevenng.com to write a review.
40. Read everyone else’s reviews on the pub
41. Check Facebook.. ooh new  photos to look at.
42. Check Twitter. More “inspiring” quotes.  And some new followers. Nice! Follow me here
43. Happily loo around the pub for inspiration.
44. Realise I’m about the only person there enjoying a beer on a Thursday afternoon.
45. Smile.
46. An idea for a post forms in my mind.
47. At last, I start to write.