I can’t believe it. I honestly can’t. It is unbelievable. I would never say that. Ever. Ever. Really never. But I did. Oh my God. I still can’t believe it. Even in the cold light of day. And I wasn’t even drinking. Or being satirical. Or even sarcastic. I said it.

“In my day we didn’t have any of these….” Christ almighty. That’s what my Dad would say.  OMG I’m my Dad. Except I’m taller : )

But ageing is natural. There’s always a subtle tipping point. Like debating whether to buy anti acne cream or anti-ageing cream. Or wondering why the pub has to have the music up so loud. Or developing an increased interest in gardening and bird feeding.

I mean I wouldn’t say I’m old. Like I’m not 90 but I am at an age that I thought was ancient when I was 17. “I mean he was really old…like 30 or something” (!) Thanks my 17 year old self.

But we all want to stay hip and kinda young and with it.  Note: This is not done by going to the nightclub you used to go when you were a teenager. You won’t blend in.  You will stand out…for the wrong reasons.

Here are 25 signs you’re getting old.  Or 25 things to guard against!:

1. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell!”
2. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
3. A £5.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”.
4. Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
5. Gasping for a cup of tea
6. Drinking sherry
7. Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look young
8. You move from Radio 1 to Radio 2
9. Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
10. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
11. You don’t know any of the songs on the station the mechanic tuned the car radio to
12. TWO glasses of wine, that’s crazy talk.
13. You actually start acknowledging the potential benefits of an Adjustable Bed.
14. You manage to put on weight despite not eating anything
15. You really hate teenagers…just wait till they get to my age
16. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
17. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
18. You are proud of your lawn mower.
19. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
20. Your best friend is dating someone half their age ….. and isn’t breaking any laws.
21. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese and a diet Pepsi.
23. You genuinely begin relating to your parents.
24. You think jazz is actually pretty good.
25. You’re more concerned about getting to bed at a reasonable time instead of having a good time in the middle of the week.

And remember…you may be getting older but it sure as hell doesn’t mean you have to grow up. Keep the inner child inside of you.  Keep you dreams alive and do something crazy and random. At least now and then. And that doesn’t mean wearing a different tie to work.