.Have you ever seen babies dancing? If you haven’t, YouTube it.  What do you see? You see babies dancing the only way they know ho. To the beat of their hearts. Bodies set free by the beat of the music. Unashamed and having great fun.

There’s no posing, shuffling of feet apologising for their slightly less than professional dance moves. Souls that don’t yet know enough to be self-conscious. Souls that haven’t learned to fear judgement.

Then tragedy strikes

At some point we become ashamed of the nakedness of our souls and so we start to cover them up. We become afraid of judgment. Of talking behind our back. Whispered conversation, furtive sniggers.

At some point we lose the ability to be free in ourselves. The fear of being judged, unliked, unwanted or unworthy becomes too great to overcome.

We learn the rues of social engagement. We start to accept judgement from others. Negative judgement needs to be avoided at all costs. Better to be invisible than judged badly.  You start say “no” when you wanted to scream yes. For fear of being looked at as a mad person/ an idiot/ silly etc.

You are hiding who you are to avoid embarrassment.

But like most people you want to be able to walk around without the fear of people watching you, judging. You want to “not care” what others think. But it’s too damned hard.

Perhaps it’s your DNA. Maybe you’re just not the kind of person who can be brave enough to let all this baggage go.

Truth.

You don’t need to be exceptionally brave and courageous. You just need to make a few small changes in how you see the world and how you interact with others in it.

Stop enabling the fear of judgement living inside of you. NOW.

In a few simple steps!

Judgements Say more about the Judge than What’s Being Judged.

Much as you might think it, it’s NOT about you. It’s NEVER about you. EVER. Whatever judgment is being passed on you, whatever the remark has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with the persons opinion of what you should be like.

For example.  Think of the craziest most out there time of clothing you have ever seen. You know, the type of item that has you thinking WTF was wrong with the designer. What kind of idiot would event dream of buying that?!  But equally there will be others who will think it’s the best thing ever. A fashion revolution. A must buy.

Your judgement has NOTHING to with them and EVERYTHING about to do with how you think that person should be dressed. You might not know what they should be wearing but you know what they shouldn’t be wearing…don’t you?

This is exactly what happens when others judge you

When you succumb to judgement you’re saying that the judge’s opinion of you has more value than who you are as an individual. That is not a healthy message to be sending to your subconscious and self-esteem.

Be less judgemental yourself… It will free you from being judged

Every time you judge someone else you perpetuate the cycle of judgement. If you are judging someone you can only expect they will be judging you as well. If you judge their clothes they’ be judging yours.

But consider this.  Do you judge others on whether they are left or right handed? I’m going to assume you don’t.

And think about this. Have you ever worried that someone will judge you on hand preference? No?

You’re only afraid of being judged on the things you are judging other people on.

The less you judge others the less you will expect to be judged by others and the fear you feel will disappear. You will be free form that shit!

But don’t think this means you are free from judging morally!

Stealing is still wrong. You can judge that.  Abstaining from judging a person personality or beliefs will lead you to peace.  Refraining from judging morals is wrong. You will be wimping out.

You’re not a wimp. So keep those morals. Don’t go out and steal something and then refrain from judging yourself! You would be wrong!

Replace Judgement with Curiosity

So you’re going to stop judging people. Good for you. But that is a hell of a lot easier said than done. What are going to do if you see something out of the ordinary? Run away screaming for fear of making a judgment before you could stop yourself. Hide? Berate yourself for judging?  A habit of a lifetime.

No.

You need to replace this habit with another one. A better one? How about curiosity?  This Allow acceptance rather than rejection and it will allow you to truly be yourself. The real you.  Make this the new habit.

The next time you see someone strolling down the street with a baboon perched on their head don’t stop thinking “that’ strange” but marvel at the new experience and how weird that was for you to see! Be curios. Think about the reason this person was doing such a thing. Enjoy the moment.

Give space to other’s to be who they are, and you will receive ample space in return.

Now get out there and dance!