How to take charge of your life. Be responsible.

Like it or not. It’s up to you and you alone.  What you do with your life and what you have done already is up to you.

But, but, but “things happen to me that I have no control over all the time!” Sure. And while you may not be able to control everything that happens to you, you are nevertheless responsible for how you think, act, and feel in response to those things. It’s your choice. Your decision.

Accept responsibility. Step up and take control.  Reap the benefits!


By accepting responsibility you are free to create the life YOU want to lead. You have made yourself responsible for your life and you will realise how much control you really do have.  You will set your own goals, your own fate, your own success.  YOU ARE IN CHARGE!


Admit to mistakes you have made. Say you made a mistake in a report and admit it. People will be much more likely to believe in other things you say and do. Your word has more meaning to other people when you take responsibility.

But it’s not just a matter of trust.  You will also ear a lot more respect by taking responsibility for your actions.

It is rare for someone to willingly and without hesitation fess up for their mistakes, so when you do, you will stick out. If you develop a reputation for being the guy who accepts responsibility for his actions, people will often simply ignore the fact that you made a mistake altogether.


Not accepting responsibility breeds negative thoughts.

Who’s to blame? This will lead to anger or resentment towards the person you feel wronged you.

You will feel powerless to change any aspect of your life. When you feel helpless like this depression can often follow.

IT’S NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS (isn’t that always the case!)

Taking responsibility makes you vulnerable, and your ego doesn’t like vulnerability one bit.

And, because of this, you have automatic default responses to things that go less than perfectly:

Who’s to blame for that? When something goes wrong it is natural to look for an external culprit. Don’t respond this way! Forget who’s to blame. What happened, happened. Deal with it. The important part here is how are you going to deal with it?

Blaming others gives up control of the situation. You become a victim.

Making excuses.  This is an easy way to hide from responsibility. I didn’t reach my goal because I was concentrating on something else.  Lightning struck my report and burnt it to a crisp.  Whatever. Success or failure in that goal is on me and no one else, regardless of external circumstances. And by taking responsibility and recognizing this, I am more likely to take the necessary actions to succeed.

Complaining  does not accomplish anything. But it can become a habit and wills top you moving forward: The more you complain, the easier it becomes to not take personal responsibility. “It’s too cold out, I’m so uncomfortable” becomes the norm instead of “I should put on a jacket”

Reframe your thoughts.


You need to make a conscious decision to become the sole person responsible for your life, and you need to make that decision now.

And you can’t just say it. You’ve got to act on it! Taking responsibility needs to become a habit.  Do the following:

Recognisee you choices. At any given time and in any given situation, you have a choice of how to respond. It doesn’t matter what your circumstances are, you still control your mental state. You can choose to remain positive no matter what.

Remember that you always have choices available. Stop feeling constrained.

Take the blame. Even if you think external circumstances contributed. Don’t shift responsibility, you lose control of the situation. “it’s …. Fault” just isn’t cool. Forget who is to blame and ask, “what could I have done differently?” This will  focus on your control of a situation rather than being the victim.

Accept yourself and your circumstances. Take responsibility for who you are right now. It’s not other people who made you the way you are, but only your own thoughts and actions. They may have been influenced by family, friends, school etc. But in the end you took those decisions

Move forward. You can take charge of your life by accepting responsibility.

Stop Relying On External Validation. You do not need other people to feel good about yourself. Ever.  Don’t lose charge of feeling happy and give it to others. Take responsibility for your own happiness. It’s the least you can do!

Of course it’s nice to have external pleasantness. All  I’m saying is don’t depend on it.

Be Open To New Ideas And Beliefs. You don’t have all the answers. By constantly challenging yourself and accepting new ideas frees you from the constraints of long held  beliefs that may be limiting They may not be the best anymore. Free yourself to new ideas and techniques.

Forgive Yourself And Others. People make mistakes. Even you. Everyone does.  If someone messes up don’t hold it against them. If you cling to a desire to blame them, then you are shifting the focus away from your own personal responsibility for your life.

In the same way. If you screw up. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Take responsibility and move on.

You Are Not Responsible For Other People. Accepting personal responsibility involves letting go of the need to feel responsible for others. Everybody is responsible for themselves, whether they realize it or not. If you feel burdened by other people, you need to let go of them. It isn’t your duty to take care of them, just as it isn’t their duty to look after you.

Taking responsibility for your life can be a very challenging and lifelong process, but it is necessary if you want to truly be happy.

You cannot possibly live authentically to your own values without taking responsibility for your own life.



Do you Tweet?

This micro blogging site is massive. There are now over 200 million users on Twitter and this number is rising every day! It now has real influence in the world.  I’m there. Follow me @dougpitchers . I’ll follow you back. But like every social media platform there are certain guidelines that you should observe. They’re not rule per se…but break them and you will suffer a digital polite silence. A few unfollows and you may just detect a pixilated vision of tumbleweed blowing across your screen.

So read these top ten tips of Twitter etiquette and you won’t go far wrong.

  1. Always add value.  Very important. What you tweet should add value to your followers day. Posts like “Wondering what to have for lunch” followed half an hour late by ”went for a sandwich” while this may be fascinating to yourself (really?) It is not as interesting to your followers who will then unfollow you. Probably. Unless it’s your Mum. Who will be glad you’re eating well.  Which leads me on to my next pont.
  2. Everyone can see what you’re tweeting. Your boss, your family, your friends.  So don’t write anything you don’t want broadcast to the world. Simple you would think. But people have and will in the future lose jobs over things they have tweeted.
  3. Don’t Overuse Hashtags These can broadcast your tweet to a wider audience by being posted on a number of threads related to you hash tagged word. But #Don’t #Overuse #Hashtags #in #Your #Tweets #It #Looks #Ridiculous #Stick #To #Three #or #Fewer. Need I say more?
  4.  A follow-back is nice, but it’s not required. You may be surprised by who decides to follow you. But that does not mean you have to follow them back.  Blindly following everyone will make you look like a robot. Be a little discerning. People will get an idea of you by who you follow. It’s not a bad idea to follow influential users and people who frequently retweet or comment on your post,  but not every single person.
  5. Avoid Negatvity. Criticism of a thing, a piece of media or soemthing inanimate is ok. If you knwo what you are talking about (please amke sure you do know at least a little bit or you will look like a plonker). Criticising individuals is not ok. Nothing good will com of it. Don’t go there.
  6.   Don’t auto DM people. (DM is direct message) Make it personal. I sometimes get a message saying how excited someone is to being followed by me. How they c can’t wait to see what I will tweet and how lovely life is and aren’t you looking lovely today. No. Make it personal or don’t send it. It’s no longer cool. If it ever was.
  7.   Number of tweets. Tricky one. Aim for about 4 or 5 a day. More than this you will risk clogging up people’s feed with just you and they will unfollow you just to shut up. I have had this. There were at least t 30 consecutive tweets from one person. I no longer follow them.  Less than 4 or 5 and you may seem standoffish or you have very little of interest to say.
  8. Don’t be an egghead. That’s the image you have (an egg!)  if you haven’t  personalised your profile.  Give your profile a bit of personality. You can add a lot of image your page. Don’t go overboard though.
  9. Self-promotion.  Twitter is a social networking site.  So a certain amount of shameless self-promotion is expected. But don’t make it just about you.  People will tire of it quickly. That means unfollowing. Engaging with other users and sharing material that doesn’t belong to you is as integral to the experience as the self-adulation. For every link of your own that you share, balance it out with two or three posts that engage with other users or share someone else’s content
  10. Don’t just lurk. You’ve signed up for a twitter account Get active!  Engage! You will need to start tweeting if you are hoping people will follow. If you don’t have anything interesting to say, how can you expect people to notice you? Start getting active on Twitter and engage with people.

Twitter can be fun. You need to be creative with why you say. You only have 140 characters to say it in. A lot can be said. It is strangely addictive. I come to Twitter more than I do Facebook these days…

Hope to see you there!